Transcribed by J

Howard: Freddie Prinze Jr. starting, I guess this Friday, will be in the movie Summer Catch, which opens August 24th in theatres everywhere. I like his movies. I like teen flicks. I like flicks about good-looking people who—I like when there’s an ugly chick but turns out to be good-looking and she ends up with Freddie Prinze Jr. or Freddie Prinze Jr. is the ugly guy and he gets the good-looking chick. Ant of these scenarios I like.
Robin: These work for you. I only like him in the I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Howard: You like that?
Robin: Yes. I like the scary movies.
Howard: I don’t care about scary movies. I like where good-looking people hook-up.
Robin: I know what you’re into.
Howard: Freddie what the hell did you do? You cut off all your hair!
Freddie: It was all blonde from Scooby Doo and I had to bleach it like every week so it was like horse hay at the end of the film so I shaved my head bald
Howard: You know who else bleaches his hair? Craig Gass over there
Robin: Bleach!? He could use some bleach
Howard: You’re not kidding. So you shaved off your hair?
Freddie: Yeah, I shaved it bald, it was kinda weird
Howard: Yeah
Robin: Remember I played that clip the other day of Freddie talking about what it felt like to be bald and he said it was cool—cold?
Freddie: It is cold
Howard: Can you imagine me bald? I picture one day I'll be in another movie and I'm gonna shave my head so no one will recognize me, like it'll be a really weird character.
Robin: Oh, so you’re gonna really disappear into your character?
Howard: Yeah I wanna disappear. I wanna disappear from this planet because if I cut off my hair no one will notice me...except for a freaky looking bald guy. Well you can shave your head because you're a good looking guy, I can't shave my head.
Freddie: No, it wasn't that good looking. It was a little weird.
Howard: You don't think you're good looking but yet you were voted People Magazines 50 sexy people. You were like—
Robin: You're in the beautiful people list every year
Freddie: Yeah, but that doesn’t—that doesn't mean anything
Howard: Yes it does!
Freddie: It does, I mean it does but it doesn’t mean anything…
Howard: Dude, I'd kill for that
Robin: They don't put ugly people in there
Freddie: If they knew you wanted to be apart of it, they just look for like celebrities to throw in there
Howard: They ain't looking for me, no ones buying it
Robin: There's plenty of celebrities...Paul Giamatti has not appeared in it
Howard: You wanna know something? I was on some website the other day; it was like ugly people website, and guess who's pictures on there?
Robin: Oh no you didn’t make that one…
Howard: ME! Yeah.
Freddie: *something unintelligible* (I thought it was mine(?))
Howard: No! Me! I’m in there. They’re like these are ugly—this special section is ugly regular people, ugly chicks, ugly guys, ugly celebrities.
Robin: Ugly celebrities.
Howard: Ugly male celebrities, I go to.
Freddie: *mumbles* That’s not right…that’s just mean.
Howard: Whose—Guess whose picture’s first? Me!
Robin: Not Freddie?
Howard: Noooo...Freddie's nowhere near that!
Freddie: Well, that's too bad
Howard: I'm on People’s ugliest people list; 50 ugliest people in America.
Robin, Howard, Freddie *talk over each other*
Howard: I don't even know where to begin man, you got some life going.
Freddie: Yeah things are good man
Howard: Not only is he on 50's People List, but he had an ex girlfriend say he has the sexiest stomach. No girl’s ever said that to me.
Robin: Really!? Lets see
Freddie: Really, you don't wanna see my stomach. I-I haven't worked in a few months so it doesn’t look like...*trails off*
Howard: You will never be nude in a movie I read. You have a no-nudity clause.
Freddie: Yeah...I'm not gonna...
Robin: What!?
Freddie: I’m not gonna…the only person who's gonna see me naked besides my mom when I was a baby is my girl and that's it. Howard: And in your new movie your ass...
Robin: You won't even take off your like top?
Freddie: It's not my ass
Howard: It's not your ass, it's a stunt ass.
Freddie: I actually had two ‘cause the first guy, his friends started giving him crap after he did it and they're like "Yeah you fag", whatever and they started making fun of him. And so they had to get another—
Howard: Yeah
Robin: He quit!?
Freddie: Yeah! So he quit—
Howard: He quit the job?
Freddie: He quit so they had to get this other guy. And he had like a big ass right? And the other guy’s this little skinny dude. So if you look, when you see the movie—if you see the movie—one guy’s like real skinny the other guy’s just got this big ole’ butt.
Howard: So you're not like Julia Roberts, you don’t try to disguise the fact that there’s an ass double. She had an ass double on Pretty Woman; she had a body double on Pretty Woman.
Freddie: Oh I didn't know that
Howard: Oh yeah, that’s not her body
Freddie: It’s more important I think for women—I don’t—you know—Mel Gibson did it in Lethal Weapon and that’s awesome but I’m not trying to do that.
Howard: See, I wouldn’t—I’d have a no nudity clause ‘cause the size of my penis is small. See that’s what makes me think you might have a small penis as well because YOU will not show your penis.
Freddie: Ex-Yeah, I won’t show my penis.
Robin: Yeah, I’ve never heard of guys having a no nudity clause.
Freddie: I don’t—I don’t need people seeing my ass. I just—
Howard: Really?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: What are you a religious guy or something?
Freddie: God’s cool with me but...
Robin: Whats wrong with your ass? *laughing*
Freddie: *sarcastically* There's this giant cist, a wart, it's terrible, you don't wanna see it.
Howard: So, so—let’s, let's begin with your personal life for a're banging Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE. By the way it's Gell-ARE, did you know that?
Freddie: You've made me aware of that
Howard: Yeah, it's not Gellar
Freddie: *sarcastically* No
Howard: Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE
Freddie: *sarcastically* Gell-ARE, yes
Howard: And I haven't seen her in a while
Freddie: Right
Howard: But—
Robin: What is trying to hide with that Gell-ARE?
Howard: Gell-ARE. No, she's a Jewish girl
Freddie: By the way, the only person that says Gell-ARE is Howard
Howard: I know! She told me it's Gell-ARE
Robin: And you're the only one that went along with it.
Howard: I love it. She's a sexy broad. And—
Freddie: She’s absolutely sexy—
Howard: And don't get me wrong I'd love to bang her, but with the life you have--
Freddie: You can't say that when I'm in the room!
Howard: Sure! Why not!? You know a lot of guys want to bang her.
Freddie: Of course, but I don't wanna...
Robin: But he's engaged to her
Howard: Are you engaged?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: You're gonna get married?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: When is the wedding?
Freddie: Oh come on man...
Howard: What? Do you not announce that?
Freddie: No, no
Robin: They don't want the helicopters
Howard: Oh oh, the helicopters, excuse me!
Freddie: Yeah they follow us around everywhere, it's impossible
Howard: That'd be incredible
Freddie: It's like Airwolf
Howard: So she's gonna become Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE Prinze Jr.
Freddie: yeah, the junior is definitely—she’s throwing that in (?)
Robin: She has to take the junior too?
Howard: Yeah!
Freddie: Yeah, it's in the deal, it's in the deal
Howard: Will she become Sarah Michelle Prinze?
Freddie: Ahh...probably, yeah
Howard: She will?
Robin: She's gonna get rid of the Gell-ARE completely?
Freddie: Maybe I—you know yeah, I dunno—
Howard: No Gell-ARE.
Freddie: No Gell-ARE—you can make some other thing…*trails off* you can do whatever you want
Howard: So, um, you will marry her even though you know that it won't last?
Freddie: *mumbles something*
Hoard: No, that it won’t last.
Freddie: Oh absolutely it will last
Howard: And you know why? You're a good looking old are you now?
Freddie: 25
Howard: Alright, dude...
Robin: Uh oh, you better get a hold of him
Howard: I think I've gotta give you the speech
Freddie: Give me the speech
Howard: You have no idea how young you are, you think you know everything
Freddie: No I don't
Howard: ‘Cause I thought I knew everything!
Freddie: But I don't think that, I promise
Hoard: Yeah, but you think…
Robin: You think you know enough to get married
Howard: You think you’re gonna know how you feel at 35
Freddie: No I don't
Howard: You're gonna be a completely different dude at 35
Freddie: And she'll be a completely different woman but it’s all good
Robin: Yeah, and you will probably talk to each other through lawyers
Hoard: *laughing*
Freddie: No
Howard: Yeah, she'll be a way different woman
Freddie: No she's awesome, I'm telling you she's awesome
Howard: I think she's a great girl—
Freddie: She is a great girl
Howard: *continues* And sexy and everything else
Freddie: Yeah, she's super hot
Howard: How old is she?
Freddie: 24
Howard: She ain't gonna be 24 forever, you know that? And you're gonna be Freddie Prinze Jr, you're gonna have a big film career, you're gonna go from movie to movie, you're gonna be on sets with very beautiful women
Freddie: But she'll be a big movie star too, so once the show is over she'll be a huge movie star
Howard: Well, yeah, but girls don't last as long as guys
Freddie: Maybe not but...
Howard: They can be going sour in five years, at 30 she could be going sour
Freddie: She's gonna be just fine
Howard: Not every woman is Heather Locklear. Honestly.
Freddie: She’s doing just fine
Howard: What I'm saying is, that you will change, and by the way I'm not just talking about the superficial, about looks, I'm talking about is you're gonna be a different guy. You're gonna be in a whole different place at 35.
Freddie: Thanks dad
Howard: Well you do need a dad
Robin: Yeah, you don't have someone to talk to you like this
Howard: I'm gonna be your dad! You were raised by your grandmother?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: You don't have a dad
Freddie: No, but you can do that, he can do that
Robin: Where was his mother?
Freddie: My mom was around too
Howard: She's a wild child but
Robin: Oh right
Freddie: *sarcastically* Yeah, she's a super wild child
Robin: No way huh?
Freddie: No
Howard: Your moms still around?
Freddie: Yeah my moms still around, they both live in LA
Howard: But your grandmother's more like your mother
Freddie: My grandmother was like—my grandmother and my mother both. But my grandmother’s like, my granny, and she was like, she was gonna make sure that I was gonna end up ok and like took me to church every weekend.
Robin: But this is on your mother’s side?
Freddie: Yeah, my mom’s mom, she lived with us
Robin: No one knew Freddie Prinze's mother
Freddie: She lived with us forever
Howard: Yeah and the fact of the matter is that he didn't know about his father until he was 8 years old and some kid at school came up to you and said hey dude, they went—they went up to him and said your dad was a junkie and he shot himself in the head
Robin: Oh man, they really lowered the ball on you
Freddie: Yeah, kids, kids are messed up
Howard: What did you—what did your grandma tell you before about your dad before then? Like it was a made up story?
Freddie: Everybody kinda said that, you know, he—they were just like looking out for me and so they said that he had like problems with drugs and things like that. And then their voices kind of like trailed off. But they just didn’t—nobody wants to tell an 8 year old kid that your father killed himself
Howard: Right, it’s tough, so you learned it at school and then what I find fascinating is that when it finally came time to tell you at 8 Freddie Prinze's agent--
Freddie: No his manager, my Uncle Ron—my uncle Ron Diblazio, yeah.
Howard: Oh but he’s not your real uncle
Freddie: No not blood, not blood but he is my uncle
Howard: So he sat down to tell you the story not your grandma
Freddie: No, they actually got me a plane ticket and flew me to California.
Howard: Wow
Freddie: And he walked me around his block and he told me about my old man and then we stopped in front of Marilyn Monroe's house because he lived right next door to where she lived, then he sat me down, and he's the greatest most honest man I've ever known and answered every question I had.
Howard: Oh, so it was a cool thing.
Freddie: Yeah, he didn't pull any punches. I asked him so many questions and he told me...I think I was a little older then 8. I'm always 8 years old in every story I tell...
Hoard: Right
Freddie: yeah, it just—it just happens, so he sat me down and he was like that was—that was a woman there and she died before it was time for her to go too, and that was like your father, and he was like but you, you're gonna be different and you're gonna be the one and all this. But I was just a little boy and never even thought about acting and never really thought about it again until I moved out there. And now every time he sees me—like no matter what he gets all choked up.
Howard: He does.
Freddie: yeah, he's a good guy.
Howard: And you as a result learned because you’ve never even touched a drug.
Freddie: No I've never done drugs in my life.
Howard: You've never smoked weed.
Freddie: No
Howard: Never! Not curious to smoke weed?
Freddie: I never wanted to.
Howard: I'll never understand that.
Freddie: My life's nice, I don't need anything to like, to make me happy. Like you said before, I'm—I’m so tastefully banging Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Howard: It's true, why would you need anything
Freddie: My life’s fine, if I never worked again it's all good.

Howard: See the legend goes—and you didn't have a great childhood; that kids picked on you and stuff, but I don't believe it.
Freddie: Kids didn't like me, but I didn't care, like I thought I was the coolest kid in the world.
Howard: You did? You had a good self image.
Freddie: Yeah, I made stuff up and I thought that I was a super hero and I’d play my own things. Kids thought it was lame but I didn’t...
Howard: And chicks started digging you at what age?
Freddie: Umm, my senior year in H.S. I beat up the right guy and drove the right car I guess.
Howard: You did? And that's when you started getting laid?
Freddie: Yeah, senior year in high school, 17.
Robin: What possessed you to move to L.A.?
Freddie: Uh, honestly we were broke. We didn’t have any money.
Howard: Someone told me you were banging Jennifer Love Hewitt for a while.
Freddie: No
Howard: You never got her?
Freddie: Nooo
Howard: It's not true?
Freddie: No, it's not true at all
Howard: Oh, then I don't envy you that much. But you were doing some soap opera chick for 4 years.
Freddie: Yeah, I was with Kimberly for 3 and a half years.
Howard: Kimberly
Freddie: Kimberly McCollough
Howard: That must be some hot broad if she's on a soap opera.
Freddie: She was beautiful, yeah, she was beautiful.
Howard: And Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE,
Freddie: Gell-ARE
Hoard: You met on the set of that movie
Freddie: And we became super good friends
Howard: And you had to dump the other broad.
Freddie: *laughing* It didn't quite work out that way.
Howard: So you've only had long term relationships?
Freddie: I've had some short ones too
Howard: You have?
Freddie: Yeah, I’ve had some short—there were a couple in between Kimberly and Sarah
Howard: And you think you're done with all other chicks for the rest of your life, you think you're gonna be faithful to Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Freddie: I was—I’ve never—I don't cheat, so it’s not my thing(?)
Howard: You don't cheat ‘cause you're 25 and have always had hot chicks, what are you gonna do in 10 years with the same chick?
Robin: And you haven’t been married.
Howard: And you haven’t been married yet!
Freddie: I'm all good man
Howard: You're gonna cheat!
Freddie: I’m all—no I’m not!
Howard: You are!
Freddie: I’m not!
Howard: You're gonna end in divorce!
Freddie: No I'm not!
Howard: Men…
Freddie: I appreciate the concern but I promise I'm all good.
Howard: At 25 you think you know more then me? I'm 47 years old.
Freddie: No, I'm just saying I’m all good—I know myself.
Howard: Not gonna work for you.
Freddie: You have so much faith in me.
Howard: Who do you think you are? Who do you know in Hollywood that's had a successful marriage? Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward? Ok...he was married before.
Robin: They don’t live in Hollywood!
Freddie: *mumbles Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn* But they’re not married
Howard: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn aren’t married and they just shot a picture of him coming out of a brothel or something right!
Robin: You're gonna go to hookers!?
Howard: Yeah, you're gonna go to hookers! Do you know how demeaning that is??
Freddie: I'm a terrible guy, I am, I am
Howard: I'm gonna make a written bet with you now, in about ten years you're gonna hunt me down and go "Howard, I owe you money."
Robin: "Here’s your money"
Freddie: Ok, we'll do a written bet. We’ll do a written bet
Howard: Put your money where your mouth is!
Freddie: I'll do it right now
Howard: A million dollars!
Freddie: How many years before you say it’s over?
Robin: You're only giving him 10?
Howard: 10! 10's the over/under.
Robin: *laughing* The over/under
Freddie: We'll—we’ll write a contract right now
Howard: See for a million I'd stay married. *Robin and Freddie laugh*
Robin: It can’t be such a good thing
Howard: Yeah, so you met Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE, you were friends for a while...
Freddie: We were friends for 4 years yeah.
Howard: And then you started banging her
Freddie: Yeah, it was kinda weird. It was unexpected
Howard: She must be good in the sack to get a kid like you; I mean you got the whole world at your f...
Freddie: She's the best…Sarah…
Howard: The best?
Freddie: Yeah, Sarah’s the best
Howard: What is she doing?
Freddie: Don’t know
Howard: Who's prettier you or Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE?
Freddie: Probably Sarah
Robin: They probably fight over the mirror
Freddie: Yeah, every morning..."Get out of the way I'm trying to look at myself!"
Howard: You're a good looking couple. I saw her on a date years ago at a Chinese restaurant, I was in LA doing business and I went to some Chinese restaurant…
Freddie: Yeah, she—she told me about this, at Mr. Chows
Howard: She was on a date with the ugliest guy
Freddie: No it was a friend of hers
Howard: Oh it was?
Freddie: And he's gay
Howard: Oh he's gay?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Yeah, he's an ugly gay guy
Freddie: He's a nice guy
Howard: I was like...I can't believe that's who she's with. See I should've known it was some gay dude. A lot of these actresses are into gay dudes.
Robin: Well, when they can't find a guy, yeah.
Freddie: *sarcastically* Yeah she’s totally into it…
Howard: Now you just bought a house for like 3 million right?
Freddie: Yeah, yeah
Howard: Now, she's moved into that already?
Freddie: Ah…No we actually, we kinda, we stay at her house and that house is more for fun and parties
Robin: Oh, look at that, look at that!
Howard: Let me understand that, your house is the house that you live in and her house is the party house
Freddie: No no no no, her house is where we live and my house is the party house
Howard: What kind of parties do you have?
Freddie: We just have like all our friends and family over there and we play like, we have like big full court basketball games there and have big like Italian dinners.
Howard: Really? Oy vey.
Robin: You know at 25 if you’re living like that you think you can get married.
Howard: Yeah, yeah, I just—
Freddie: Yeah, I'm completely deluded and I’m retarded and everything is horrible(?)
Howard: You know what—you know what, I’m glad you’re getting married because you know what, you need to have a hassle in your life. You haven't had any adversity, that's your problem.
Freddie: I don't—I don’t get adversity—I don’t…
Howard: Unbelievable
Sam Kinison (impersonator, obviously): It's a fantasy life.
Freddie: My life’s good
Howard: It is
Freddie: It is
Howard: Sam Kinison you know, you lived the life before you—
Sam Kinison: I wouldn't even—I wouldn’t even make the bet in terms of years I'd make it in pictures. I give them like 5 movies.
Howard: 5 movies?
Freddie: Yeah, 5 movies and then it's over
Howard: You're gonna fall in love with someone, Sam Kinison is right.
Freddie: Yeah, he's completely right
Howard: He knows so much. I wish he'd stop dyeing his hair. Alright anyway…
Sam Kinison: Hollywood marriages are fake
Freddie: He lost a lot of weight, he looks great.
Sam Kinison: Much like Craig Gasses hair Hollywood marriages are just fake.
Freddie: Right, very completely, its all—it's all b.s.
Howard: And will there be a pre-nuptual agreement between the two of you?
Freddie: Oh wow, that's pretty deep
Howard: Yeah, you’ve gotta sit down and talk about these things
Robin: Yeah, these are serious questions—this is a serious interview
Howard: Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE's got a lot of dough.
Freddie: She's got tons of dough
Robin: Who's got more?
Howard: I think Gell-ARE's got the dough
Freddie: I think she's got the Maybelline deal and that pays her llike 30 billion dollars
Robin: And the TV money
Howard: Maybelline is big. You don't realize how big Maybelline deal is.
Freddie: I think she's the highest paid spokesperson actually, period
Howard: For Maybelline
Freddie: Period.
Robin: For make-up period
Freddie: In make-up period. She’s the number one guy
Howard: What do you get like 15 mil for that?
Freddie: Uhhh...
Howard: More?
Freddie: Uhhh…I don’t—I’ve never even…
Howard: You’re kidding me? More than that??
Robin: How long do they have her locked up for?
Freddie: They ah, they’ve got her for a couple years
Howard: Until her divorce.
Freddie: Exactly, exactly
Howard: Wow, no kidding
Freddie: Yeah
Robin: Wow
Howard: So she tells you how much she gets?
Freddie: I know, of course I know how much she gets, she knows how much I get
Robin: So what’s your quote now?
Howard: You’re at around 2 million a film, right?
Freddie: Yeah right around there.
Howard: Nice, 2 mil a film. Oy vey
Freddie: Sometimes less, sometimes more, it depends.
Howard: Now what about this movie, "Summer Catch", you get about 2mil on that one?
Freddie: Yeah, that one I got 2 on. They didn’t want to pay at first. They were like—they were being jerks about the thing and so I wasn’t gonna do it.
Howard: So what did they say to you, they were gonna give it to someone else, this movie?
Freddie: Yeah, they were like we’re gonna give it to somebody else then ‘cause most actors are all insecure and me I was just like, ‘okay’. And they were like...what? And they like flipped out.
Howard: So in other words the key to getting the big pay day is not caring too much.
Freddie: Well, I don't care period. Actings cool and I love it a lot and it's a lot of fun but there's a lot of other stuff I dig too and if people are going to—
Robin: Like what? What else are you gonna do?
Freddie: I—I don’t know
Howard: He doesn't have to work, he’s got the Maybelline money.
Freddie: Yeah, I got the Maybelline money, you forget
Robin: Oh, she’s gonna—she's gonna support you
Freddie: Everything’s cool and I’m not gonna—
Howard: What are you into, wood working?
Freddie: I love carpentry
Howard: Carpentry, really?
Robin: What else pays this kind of money?
Freddie: No, no, I love to cook. I love cooking, I love cooking
Howard: You love to cook?
Freddie: Yeah I'd open a restaurant or something.
Howard: You would?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: With Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE?
Freddie: Yeah, absolutely. We've actually spoken about that before.
Howard: Well she’s with Buffy the Vampire Slayer…
Freddie: It's called "Gell-ARE's"..that's the name of our restaurant.
Howard: Yeah, there you go. Buffy the vampire Slayer's a lot of money for her.
Freddie: Yeah, she does well there.
Howard: So at this point she's making more money than you.
Freddie: Ummm....sort of, if I make one movie a year then we’re just about even.
Howard: Oh really? So she's about 2 for Buffy and you're about 2 for a movie. So you're actually making more money. Freddie: But I don't work that much.
Robin: You can put in another movie—you know you can do another movie a year.
Freddie: I don't like doing more then one movie a year.
Howard: Really?
Robin: Look at you
Howard: Look at you
Robin: What are you doing with the rest of your time?
Freddie: I just kick back
Howard: You kick back and do what?
Freddie: And cook
Howard: What are you cooking that's so good?
Freddie: I like making—I like veal so I make a lot of veal things
Howard: So how long does it take to make one of these movies? Two months?
Freddie: Ah two to—well Scooby was 6 months, and ah, so that was a little too long
Robin: Yeah, he probably won't take another film like that.
Freddie: The rest of them are about 2 and a half, 3 months.
Howard: 2 1/2-3 the rest of the year you just cook, hang out, kick back, what do you surf and stuff? Freddie: I'm Mr. Mom dude…I sit at home and…
Robin: You have no kids!
Freddie: I cook and clean
Howard: Really?
Freddie: I love doing that, it's fun for me.
Howard: Let me understand something...and then like you’ll go to the set—
Freddie: Look how confused he looks
Robin: We're both confused!
Freddie: It's fun!
Howard: Why don't you quit movies and get a job in a diner?
Freddie: I just may
Howard: And get me a *something*
Freddie: I just may, I just may
Howard: You don't care that much about the films?
Freddie: No, it's cool. When I make a movie I'm 100% and I love it, but if somebody's gonna make my life difficult over making a movie I'm just like look, no hard feelings, go make your movie, this is what I want if I'm gonna do the film, and if you don't wanna do it right on, and sometimes we compromise, and we do other things and if not that’s fine.
Howard: Wow
Robin: And you never want to be a 20 million dollar guy?
Freddie: I don't care I make tons of money
Howard: You're all set up
Freddie: Yeah, I invested my money and I made tons there and I do my thing
Robin: So you’re set
Freddie: yeah
Howard: What did you invest in? Like, stocks?
Freddie: Honestly my biggest investment was comic books.

Howard: Comic books?
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: What do you mean?
Robin: You—All your moneys in comic books?
Freddie: A lot of it yeah
Howard: Wait a second I had tons of comic books.
Freddie: You should have held on to them, I probably have a couple of them now
Howard: My mother threw them out. So what do you mean by that? In other words, you go out as a speculator, you buy comic books?
Freddie: I have somebody go so they don’t know it’s me. ‘Cause last time I did it somebody kept trying to jack up the prices (and he didn’t have any intention of doing(?)). So I have somebody else go and broker it for me
Howard: How much money—what's the most money you've made in comic books?
Freddie: I have 2 #1 Supermen, and they're pretty expensive.
Howard: Alright, how much does that cost?
Freddie: One's near mint and it's around $83,000 and the other ones about $120,000
Robin: Now where do you put these comic books?
Freddie: *laughs* Yeah! Let me tell you!
Howard: Lock them up in a safe!
Someone: Next to the toilet!
Freddie: Yeah, they’re good, they're all good. Yeah, right next to the toilet.
Howard: Now what did you pay for the #1 Superman comic?
Freddie: I got it for—can I say that?
Howard: Yeah
Freddie: I got it for $101,000.
Howard: A 101 thou?
Robin: Thou??
Howard: Nobody knows that though!
Howard: So it’s only worth 83,000 you said
Freddie: No, no, no, that one now is worth $127,000, that’s a mint condition.
Howard: Really? So these are better then real stocks? These comic books
Freddie: Some of them, yeah, some of them, I have some that aren't worth anything.
Howard: You love Spiderman and you wanted that part though? That’s the part you wanted
Freddie: I wanted it bad. Oooohhhh my Goooood.
Howard: You wanted to be Spiderman?
Freddie: Yeah I wanted that. I learned how to read, reading Spiderman comic books.
Howard: Did you—I love Spiderman too. Did you to talk to the director Sam Raimi?
Freddie: Yeah, I spoke to him. I was the first person he met actually and ah—it ah, I don’t know, it just didn't work out.
Howard: Did you have to audition?
Freddie: Ah—no, I didn't read. They wouldn’t actually give me time I was making a movie while we were doing it. And ah—everybody kind of let me know that it was kind of my flick...but everyone except the director.
Howard: Right, right
Robin: *laughs*
Freddie: And they were like yeah, yeah it’s yours don’t worry and I was like…
Howard: Well maybe that hurt you then because everyone said it’s his, it’s his, it’s his but the director wants to put his own stamp on it
Freddie: I think it did. Yeah I think he had his own idea, his own vision was kind of Tobey I think from the beginning. I think people tried to kind of force me down his throat but Tobey's an awesome actor so...
Howard: Yeah, Tobey's good *chuckling in the background*
Freddie: That's not arguable but I'm—I’m pissed I didn't get it.
Howard: Right, but you will go see the movie?
Freddie: Absolutely
Robin: This would have taken up a lot of your time though.
Howard: Yeah, that might have taken more then 3 months.
Freddie: Yeah *laughs* then I’d have to clear(?), yeah I’m sorry that’s too long.
Howard: And you might not have gotten two million because, you know…
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Now, ah, So, so you haven't sat down with Sarah Michelle Gell-ARE and said ‘I want a pre-nuptial agreement?’
Freddie: We've spoken about a lot of stuff but I'm not gonna speak about it on the radio
Howard: Oh yes you are
Freddie: Oh, okay, yes I am, yes I am
Howard: Who's gonna guide you, you have no father, I’m your father
Freddie: That's true you are my father
Howard: I am Howard Stern Sr.
Freddie: Yes you are
Howard: and you are Freddie Prinze Jr.
Freddie: Junior...yes
Howard: No seriously...
Freddie: We’ve spoken about everything
Howard: So how are you gonna handle that?
Freddie: We're all good
Howard: Oh. Oh, so you have negotiated an agreement?
Robin: So how are you gonna work it out?
Freddie: It wasn’t—we didn't have our agents call each other and negotiate, we just know...
Robin: Wait a minute...her name is not on his house mortgage or whatever the papers are
Freddie: Right and my name's not on hers
Robin: And your name is not on her’s
Howard: So you're gonna keep everything separate, what you earn is what you earn and what she earns is what she earns.
Freddie: It's all—It’s all together, I don’t—I don’ ex-girlfriend—
Howard: What about a—will you share you're comic books with her?
Freddie: Yeah absolutely
Howard: You will!?
FPJ: Yeah. I love her
Robin: Wait a minute, what a minute
Freddie: My ex-girlfriend, when we broke up, I gave her—we were together 3 ½ years and I gave her a ton of cash so she would be cool and...straight.
Howard: Really?
Sam Kinison: Just a girlfriend?
Howard: Just a girlfriend.
Freddie: For 3 ½ years she was a major part of my life so…
Howard: So you gave her cash?
Sam: So she earned some cash.
Freddie: I loved her a lot so she would be cool and no have to worry about stuff.
Howard: No come on.
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Why? She didn’t quit her job while she was with you.
Freddie: Why? I had tons of money I was all good
Sam Kinison: Did you break up with her or did she break up with you?
Freddie: Um she kinda broke up with me, although she might disagree but she kind of broke up with me; she was kinda over it I think.
Howard: You’re gonna get some bad press if you start giving girls cash for being your girlfriend.
Robin: For no good reason, she broke up with you!
Freddie: It was for a great reason—she was—she was—look for the time that we had the good times were good, I loved her to death.
Howard: Look at you!
Freddie: I don’t want—I don’t wish ill upon her so I gave her cash so she’d be all right.
Robin: But wait a minute.
Sam Kinison: Would you like to date Sam Kinison?
Freddie: “I have to talk to you later”(?)
Robin: Are you guys gonna set up like a joint account that you both have to contribute to to take care of the household stuff and all that stuff?
Freddie: Ah, nah, we both have—we have our own accounts
Howard: Ever give a stripper a Mercedes?
Howard: That’s what they said about me. By the way, I just want to stay, Neil Travers has still not called back in.
Robin: Yeah what happened? He was supposed to call Friday.
Howard: Yeah, that’s because I never gave any stripper a Mercedes.
Robin: But I did find on the internet you can get a Mercedes convertible for around 52 blah blah blah, so you can. Howard: All right…
Freddie: There you go.
Howard: Well whatever, now, will you raise the kids in a Puerto Rican household?
Freddie: *laughs*
Robin: A Puerto Rican??
Howard: Well yeah!
Freddie: Alright, listen…
Robin: How’s he know anything about Puerto Rican? He doesn’t—
Freddie: First of all, my father was a half—
Robin: They never told him he was Puerto Rican.
Freddie: Yeah, they kept that secret. It’s so bad to be Puerto Rican!
Howard: So, you are Puerto Rican.
Freddie: No, my father was half Puerto Rican—
Howard: He was.
Freddie: And half German—
Howard: I see
Freddie: And so I’m a fourth Puerto Rican but the rest of my family is…not that. So…
Robin: He was raised by white people!
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: You were raised by white admit that?
Freddie: I was raised by white folk
Howard: You're not embarrassed to say you were raised by white people?
Freddie: No, I don't care
Howard: So—so, you are gonna go ahead with this wedding, it—it’s gonna happen soon...
Freddie: Yes, I'm sorry father, but I love her
Howard: Have you—have you bought an outfit for the wedding?
Robin: Outfit?
Freddie: Have I bought an outfit? No—not…
Howard: Yeah, like a tuxedo
Robin: Or are you gonna do one of those things on the beach where you're both in bathing suits?
Freddie: GOD no. No, I'll look sharp. I’ll look sharp.
Howard: You're gonna have a regular wedding, she's gonna be in a gown and all that...
Freddie: It'll be a nice small wedding
Howard: Well, for your first marriage that's a nice thing to do
Freddie: Yeah, for the first one I think it'll be good
Howard: And ah…
Robin: For the first one...
Freddie: The second one we'll have bathing suits and that stuff.
Howard: Well yeah, No I mean the second one you do make it less formal
Freddie: Right, right, right…
Robin: I see.
Howard: This is fun for her, she gets to dress up like a bride
Freddie: Yeah, I'm only doing it for her, exactly
Howard: And you'll have a wedding and then you'll go on a honeymoon.
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: And where is that gonna go on? Hawaii?
Freddie: I—I ca—I can't say that
Howard: Why not? Who cares?
Freddie: Because! People find out where we’re going—they (don’t understand what he’s saying here)
Howard: Oh no ones gonna follow you! Relax!
Robin: Have you taken some quick/great/fake(?) trips already?
Freddie: Believe me—believe me they follow us.
Howard: They do?
Freddie: Oh it’s—
Howard: Do they follow you?
Freddie: It’s ridiculous. When we went to Hawaii last time we got followed and people took pictures of us. And—(???).
Howard: Took pictures of what?
Freddie: Of us, like…
Howard: Just in your bathing suits?
Freddie: Just being cool, and like kickin’ back and digging each other
Howard: Oh—oh the paparazzi
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Oh.
Freddie: So that's not fun
Howard: There's ways to get rid of those guys
Robin: You shoot ‘em!
*more laughter*
Freddie: That’s—yeah that's one way, that’s one way.

Warning there's a part in this that is a tad racy and Freddie mentions some private stuff. If you've never listened to Stern/can't handle Stern then don't read it.
I won't be paying any therapy bills. It's actually not more raunchy than his wife's Stern interviews. I think it's PG-13 enough so if you're on this board then there's an agreement that everyone here is 13. Part 4, final part:

Howard: Alright, so the new movie "Summer Catch" I’m gonna go see this movie.
Freddie: It’s a cool film, it’s really funny.
Howard: I like your movies. A lot of people put me down for liking your movies because they’re supposed to be chick flicks. I like ‘em!
Freddie: This one—well, then this one you may not like—it’s not much of a chick flick.
Howard: Talk to me about this; you play a pitcher?
Freddie: I play a—It’s a baseball movie. It’s this real league called the Cape Cod League which is where like all the college all-stars go to get big time contracts.
Robin: They’re no girls in the movie?
Freddie: Yeah, there’s—
Howard: There better be a girl in the movie!
Freddie: There’s like half naked girls. Jessica Biel’s in the movie it was—she’s—she’s on 7th Heaven.
Howard: No chemistry between you two?
Freddie: She’s—what—we had great chemistry! We worked awesome together.
Howard: Ah…
Someone: Real chemistry?
Howard: Any real chemistry?
Freddie: Oh. No no no, don’t get excited.
Howard: Do you ever think about—do you ever think about other girls?
Freddie: Nah. I don’t—I dig Sarah! She’s awesome.
Howard: I got 5 words for you though...
Freddie: There we—alright, alright…
Howard: Now think about this...Billy Joel...okay
Freddie: Okay.
Howard: There it is. Those are the five words.
Freddie: Alright.
Robin: Oh my—what a terrible thing to say!
Howard: He got rid of Christy Brinkly—
Robin: What a terrible thing to say!
Howard: The most beautiful girl on the planet. I got another 5 words for you…
Freddie: I’m not Billy Joel.
Howard: Tom Cruise.
Robin: Uhhh…
Freddie: I’m not Tom Cruise.
Howard: How many more 5 words do you want me to give you?
Freddie: *laughs* As many as you—as many as you want.
Howard: Come on!
Robin: It is—
Sam Kinison: I've got two words.
Robin: It’s—what?
Howard: Two words! Go ahead.
Sam Kinison: Deaf parents
Robin: Oh god.
Howard: You have deaf parents. Who cares about your deaf parents?
Someone: That’s two more words.
Howard: It’s a completely ridiculous thing.
Freddie: It’s—it’s good…it’s good.
Howard: Alright.
Robin: But wait a minute…
Howard: Yeah
Robin: It's very tough for actors to stay together.
FPJ: I guess for some, yeah.
Howard: *mumbles*
Freddie: I just—I don’t—I don’t care about all the nonsense that goes on.
Robin: I mean where’s—there’s maybe two,
Freddie: I just—I don’t—
Robin: That made it work.
Freddie: I think—

Private/Racy stuff coming up ahead.
Howard: Is she keeping it real though. She’ll put on lingerie and stuff for you and like sexy—really sexy outfits?
Freddie: Sarah's awesome. Her whole mission in life is making me happy.
Howard: Really?
Freddie: And—and anything she can do to do that, she does.
Robin: Yeah, but they don't have kids yet.
Howard: Yeah, you don’t have kids yet.
Freddie: I—I can't wait to have kids, that’ll be awesome.
Howard: You using birth control or you guys just going at it?
Freddie: No, no, no, we have birth control
Howard: You do.
Freddie: Yeah.
Howard: Yeah, wait a while for having kids for Christ sake.
Freddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Robin: Yeah, ‘til you’re like forty.
Freddie: No we want to have fun with each other. We dig each other.
Howard: Yeah, have a good time.
Freddie: Absolutely.
Howard: Why are you rushing into kids?
FPJ: I'm not! I just told you I’m not!
Howard: It’s ridiculous.
Freddie: I’m not.
Howard: What are you wearing, rubbers?
FPJ: Nah, we have—we use…
Howard: Birth control pill?
Freddie: Uh, uh I can’t wear rubbers.
Howard: Diaphragm?
Robin: Diaphragm !!!??
Howard: You can’t wear a rubber, why can’t you wear a rubber?
Freddie: ‘Cause that’s not—(can’t hear what he says)
Howard: I wear a rubber. It’s no big deal.
Freddie: Okay well good.
Howard: You know why I wear a rubber, it slows me down a little, makes me a better lover.
Robin: Obviously he doesn’t have these control problems, these issues you’re dealing with.
Freddie: *laughs* When I was sixteen I wore a rubber.
Howard: Really?
Freddie: Well yeah, I was sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old.
Howard: I have trouble holding out. I’m forty seven, I have trouble holding out.
Freddie: Ah, you know, it’s good…
Howard: You know what I mean?
Freddie: That’s alright.
Robin: He’s not gonna sleep with you.

Howard: Alright listen; the new movie is coming out
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Summer Catch, opening August 24th in theatres everywhere.
Freddie: Yeah
Howard: Exciting.
Freddie: Yeah, not just one.
Howard: Your movies always do well, you’ll do fine.
Freddie: They do okay, not all of them do well. I’ve had a couple—a couple of stinkers.
Howard: There’s one I saw I didn’t like but the rest of ‘em I liked.
Robin: This last—the last one…
Howard: Which one didn’t I like?
Freddie: Which one didn’t you like?
Robin: What was that last one?
Howard: I didn’t know your name, I watched it though.
Freddie: What was the last one?
Robin: I’m trying to remember the plot…there was…
Freddie: The one with the su—*laughs* the one with the super models, is that the one?
Howard: No…
Robin: No…
Freddie: That was the last one I did.
Robin: Yeah, yeah, yeah…that didn’t do so well.
Howard: What was the plot?
Freddie: That didn’t too hot.
Howard: What was the plot?
Freddie: This girl like always fell in-love with guys who liked supermodels—
Howard: Oh, I haven’t seen that.
Freddie: And ah…she ended up having to live with supermodels ‘cause she was broke and then it turns into this rear window kind of thing; she falls in love with me but she thinks she sees me kill somebody.
Howard: Oh see, I don’t wanna see—I like you in movies—
Robin: Yeah, see that was too much of a plot for you.
Howard: I like you in nice movies. Yeah, that’s too—I don’t want any mistaken killings and all that kind…
Freddie: Yeah, you just want it simply—struggle for a while but (something I can’t understand)
Howard: I like whether—either like—either where you’re like a geeky dude and you then become the good-looking popular guy or vice versa the chick…
Freddie: I’m worried you’re not gonna like Summer Catch then ‘cause that’s more—it’s sort of—
Howard: I no—this—I saw the trailer, I like it.
Freddie: You’ll dig it because there’s hot chicks in it so…
Howard: Yeah
Freddie: And baseball—
Howard: And the chicks want you right because you’re a baseball player.
Freddie: Yeah, yeah it’s really cool. It’s—it’s more, it’s much more of a guy movie. Brittany Murphey who is super hot in the movie like feeds us beer from between her legs and things like that.
Someone: There isn’t a makeover during the championship game or anything?
Freddie: Yeah there’s a total makeover—it’s—I’m gonna get my hair done and it’s beautiful.
Howard: There’s a makeover? I love makeovers.
Robin: Makeover movies are his—that was his favorite.
Howard: I love that.
Freddie: Yeah, that’s (something I can’t decipher)
Howard: What’s the name of that movie?
Robin: It was She’s All That or something.
Howard: Oh I love that movie!
Freddie: She’s All That, that was—that was the first big one.
Robin: He talked about that movie ‘til I was sick of it.
Howard: That was the ugly chick right? The ugly chick?
Robin: Yes, the ugly pretty chick.
Howard: The ugly pretty chick.
Freddie: Oh, she’s—she’s so ugly even in the wig and the (something)
Howard: Yeah right, yeah. And then all of a sudden she becomes beautiful. I love that movie.
Freddie: Well, that’s because of me.
Howard: Seen that movie twenty friggin’ times.
Freddie: That was good. It was a good movie.
Howard: Any movie like that I like.
Freddie: It was a good movie.
Howard: I watched over the weekend, Get Over It…did you ever see that?
Robin: No…
Freddie: Get Over It, what is that?
Howard: That’s a—I think it’s called Get Over It…it’s ah, these cheerleaders.
Freddie: No that’s Bring It On.
Robin: Bring It On.
Howard: Bring It On.
Robin: Get Over It? Bring It On.
Howard: I love that.
Freddie: Yeah, you dig that one?
Howard: Bring It On.
Freddie: Right on.
Howard: That’s good too.
Freddie: Yeah it’s cool.
Howard: They should have put you in that one.
Freddie: No, that’s okay.
Sam Kinison: So you like happy stories in movies but in real life we want you to break up with your wife.
Freddie: *laughs* Exactly
Robin: (something)
Howard: It’ll happen.
Freddie: It’ll happen.
Howard: This kid—
Freddie: We’re gonna—we’re gonna sign a contract before it happens.
Howard: His (edited) life ain’t gonna be over at twenty five. There’s just no way. See Freddie Prinze Jr. in Summer Catch opening August 24th in theatres everywhere and it’s ah, great to have you in here Freddie.
Freddie: Thanks a lot for having me.
Howard: I almost didn’t have you in here because they said that you were too busy.
Freddie: Well I did sports center last night and it’s—
Howard: Nobody watches that.
Freddie: Yeah nobody—it’s in Crystal, Connecticut so I didn’t get home until like 12:30 at night and—
Howard: Alright listen here,
Freddie: It’s so early in the morning.
Howard: You’ll never be too busy for me.
Freddie: Dude, do like an afternoon show or something and I’ll be here every week.
Howard: Did the guys on Sports Center warn you about prenuptial agreements and the fact that at twenty five you don’t know what you’re doing?
Freddie: No, none of them wanted to be my dad either. It was terrible.
Someone: That’s because Chris Berman’s a loser?
Howard: Who’s the nicest guy in Hollywood? Tom Hanks, right?
Freddie: Ah…I’ve never met Tom Hanks.
Howard: Well, let me tell you something…Tom Hanks is the nicest guy in Hollywood, guess who dumped his first wife?
Freddie: Who?
Robin: Tom Hanks
Howard: Tom Hanks. ‘Alright, ‘nuff said.
Freddie: *mumbles something*
Howard: We’re gonna take a break. When we come back, we’re gonna meet a twenty six year old…actually we’re gonna re-meet a twenty six year old who’s trapped in a fourteen year old’s body.
Freddie: That’s too bad.
Robin: Talk about tough life.
Freddie: That’s rough.
Howard: Yeah, this kid’s got a rough life and I think, we’ve found a woman who wants to go out with him.
Freddie: Awesome.
Howard: Yeah.
Freddie: You’re always hooking guys up by the way
Howard: Well freaky guys.
Freddie: Well, yeah *laughs*
Howard: Guys like you I don’t hook up. You don’t need my help.
Freddie: No, I’m doing okay.
Someone: We’re trying to give you advice.
Freddie: Yes, thank you. Thanks for the advice.
Howard: We’ll be right back after these words. Go see Freddie Prinze Jr. in Summer Catch opening August 24th, that’s this Friday?
Freddie: This Friday, yeah.
Howard: In theatres everywhere. We’ll be back right after these words.

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